Month: February 2011 (Page 3 of 4)

I’ve never been a great fan of St. Valentine’s Day or the number 14 (which in Mandarin means “imminent death” if pronounced incorrectly).  Chocolate never did much for me unless it encased a strawberry rimming a glass of sparkling wine. Red roses, heart-shaped cards, and expensive dinners were never really my thing. As for boys, well, that’s another matter entirely!  

When I was in kindergarten, my teacher would put on music and me and my ‘boyfriend’ Tony would dance around the classroom with complete abandon.  I was very popular in elementary school and at one point had two boys walking me home: one carried my books, the other, my plaid lunchbox. It was fun, relaxed, and comfortable.

Valentine’s Day in elementary school was the deal! What was so neato was that regardless of how anybody felt about anybody else, everybody got a valentine’s card…and a party!  Could you ask for more?

Then, thrust upon we unsuspecting 12 year-olds, was the dreaded “MIDDLE SCHOOL”. All of a sudden it became a big, fat deal to have a boyfriend; or, at least, be stalked by several. You know what I had to say to that?

 “Buzz Kill!” 

Thus, life and (Valentine’s Day) turned into relentless pressure to conform– and lame dances were par for the course. Ugh.

Who needs additional pressure upon entering “The Middle”?  What an appropriate name for that period of life. It’s as if you’re locked in a time warp of change and anticipation. Seriously, you’re smack dab in the middle of acquiring social skills, battling skin issues, daily dealings with CHANGE, body awareness, image makeovers, and trying to figure out just what “cool” really means. Again I say, “Buzz Kill!”

However, being a social creature by nature, I still wanted to be cool, to fit in, to get a freakin’ card and perhaps a box of chocolates or a lousy flower.  Alas, I didn’t.  And, I never truly did until I met my husband nearly 18 years later. 

In fact, 18 years ago we were on our way to Victoria Island in the province of Vancouver, Canada to stay at a little place on the coast called Tai Na Mara.  There, over Valentines Weekend, we fell a little deeper in love, had strawberries, chocolates, and champagne. We exchanged roses and mushy cards and we went out for a very expensive dinner. Oh, and we danced with complete abandon as only 5 year olds and lovers are wont to do.

When I try to be cool, it really never works because, basically, I’m a dork.  I think that the only time I REALLY force it is when I put on my Simpson (maiden name) attitude and attempt to prove some lame-ass point to Dave – still doesn’t work. As my daughter often says, “Epic Fail!” Case in point…last night, at Big Earl’s BBQ (James Porter’s new bent), Emily and I were pretty much standing alone – as we tend to do at most of these shindigs.

Hold on, hold on!  That is not the fail!! However, in most circles I’m sure that hangin’ with your driver kills all hope of achieving the popularity that many strive for in this business ~ yeah whatever. Anyhoo…there we were, eating pork in every form known to man and drinking copious glasses of a nice Merlot when I started pointing and jumping up and down (I do this a lot) and slurring (I do this a lot, too)….”Isn’t that the guy from that show, um you know–The Middle! No, no, it’s the other one, you know, the guy, the Dad, with the weird hair and hot, neurotic wife?”. 

For those not “in the know”, I was referring to Phil from Modern Family; however, the gentleman in question was actually Mr. Rich Dahlquist, meteorologist extraordinaire from ABC Channel 15. 

Flashback to 1992…..

…so there I was at a Country Dance Bar in Tukwila, WA. I don’t remember why I was there or who made me go, but, hey! I can groove with the best of them and believe whole-heartedly that line-dancing is an art. Well, on this particular evening, an extremely interesting gentleman asked me to dance and since I was on a break, I said, “Yes.”

There we were, twirling ‘round the dance floor when someone dosey-do’s by and says to this extremely interesting gentlemen, “Hey, aren’t you Bill Ny the Science Guy?” Epic Fail!!  He was actually very popular in Seattle at the time and did a bit on a local late night show, but, of course, I didn’t have a clue. So, there I was…..on another break.

Rich the Meteorologist, on the other hand, didn’t desert me to the wallflower waiting room or question my integrity because I wasn’t aware of who he was or what he did. We did, however, strike up the best conversation I’d had that evening (aside from exchanging pigeon stories with Emily) and I completely enjoyed myself.  I love it when you meet people for the first time who can trigger true belly laughs, make you feel comfortable, and don’t give a shit what anyone else thinks. 

Along with his great sense of humor and complete sincerity, Rich asked for a code-word. Since fried pickles were one of the down-home delicacies flying off the trays at this function, I blurted out “Pickle!” Emily and I raced home – well, we stopped for a quick drink at Dillon’s – and watched the 10:00 o’clock weather report on Channel 15.

Rich Dahlquist:”It’s gonna be cold out there” (something, something, something) “but if you’re in a pickle….”  And there I went again, jumping up and down, pointing at the TV. Yep, totally UNCOOL!! David was tickled because that’s why he loves me. Then, I got a kiss. Thanks, Dick!!